


The World's A Small Place

by chuzaiftw



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19735033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuzaiftw/pseuds/chuzaiftw
Summary: The summer of '02 was the worst one Moon Taeil had to endure. It was the summer in which Seo Youngho, his best friend and first love, was taken away from him in a car accident.Years later, Youngho is a star going by the name of Johnny with Taeil as his biggest fan.Taeil hopes for the chance to one day talk to him again, but when their paths finally cross, he realizes that Johnny has no idea who he is.





	1. Chapter 1

[Flash Back]

"Taeil! Wait up!", came the voice of a seven year old Korean-American boy. The older boy ran along the side walls of the orphanage, reaching the roadside. 

"Hurry up, you slowpoke!", teased the older. When he reached the corner of the building, he decided to hide against the other side rather than keep going onto the road.

In retrospect, that decision was the worst one Taeil had ever made in his life.

Youngho kept running, thinking Taeil had run across the road into the woods on the other side. 

It all happened so fast; one second Taeil sees Youngho shoot past him, and the other he hears a terrible crash and brakes screeching. It was a total blur. 

But the one thing that is burnt vividly in Taeil's memory, and forever will be, is Youngho's bloody figure lying sideways on the road.


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm clock on Taeil's bedside table blared for the umpteenth time and the handsome college senior finally woke up with a groan. He hated waking up, especially on Mondays. 

Begrudgingly, he got up, and headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He stared into the mirror for who knows how long. Suddenly his eyes widened when his brain seemed to form a thought. "Shit!", he yelled and ran out of the bathroom, picked some clothes out of his closet and took a quick shower. 

Today was the day his department left for the States! 

ーー

To say Taeil ran towards the assigned meeting place, a café just down the block, is an understatement. He literally flew down the flight of dorm steps, dashed through the doors and sprinted down the street. He was lucky to have told his closest friend, Ten, to put all his luggage in the university's bus the night before because that would be a whole different problem. As he approached the small cafe, he could see an irritated Ten standing outside, beside the bus, tapping his feet impatiently with his arms crossed. 

"You're late".

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Voltaire wrote 'Candide' to criticize von Leibniz's Philosophical Optimism theory." 

Taeil stared at Ten, an offended look on his face. "I knew that!" 

"I know. I was just messing with you", replied the Thai boy with a smirk. "You're lucky to have me as your friend, you'd have been left behind otherwise."

Taeil smiled, grateful to at least have someone who cared for him. The two Literature majors then mounted the bus which headed for the airport. 

ーー

Once aboard the plane, Taeil took out his headphones and began listening to his favorite artist, an indie-pop star, Johnny. The emotions that surged as soon as he heard Johnny's voice always brought him to the point of tears. It was his past best-friend's and first love's voice that he was listening to. The first time Taeil had seen him, four years ago, he was awestruck.

Not only was his voice perfect, but he looked so oddly familiar. Taeil was intrigued, and searched him up. As a child orphan, Johnny, real name Youngho, suffered an accident, and was adopted by a Korean couple while undergoing treatment. The couple then moved overseas, where Youngho began his new life. 

As Taeil read his biography, memories he'd tried so hard to erase but couldn't began to flood his mind. Something which he had experienced in his childhood was way too similar to Johnny's story. The image of a boy's bloody figure strewn on the road replayed in his mind, and it didn't take long for him to connect the dots. Johnny was the boy who Taeil had thought he'd lost forever, the one person who was Taeil's sanctuary. The one person who, as a child, Taeil had insanely strong feelings for. As a child, Taeil didn't realize what those feelings were, but as he grew up, he realized it was love. And it wasn't the same love he felt for pizza, or for playing soccer with his friends. It wasn't even the same love he felt for literature. He had been in love with this boy, but life had torn them apart, neither hearing from the other ever again.

If only he hadn't decided to hide against the side of that building that day.

Taeil felt happy, realizing that he had finally, finally, found him again. He could talk to him again! They could catch up with what had been going on with the other all these years! And maybe they could even start a beautiful romantic relationship because yes, even after years of believing Youngho had been lost forever, Taeil still harbored strong feelings towards him. They do say how when you really fall in love, almost nothing can come between those feelings. At least that was the message Taeil interpreted from his favorite author and poet's, Edgar Allan Poe, poem 'Annabel Lee'.

However, as reality struck, his mood turned grim. So what if he had found him? Youngho was now a star, and it would be nearly impossible to actually contact him as a person. And what would he even say? 'Oh hi, it's me, the one who tricked you and made you run onto the street where you were struck down by a car'? Well, he could start by apologizing. If he ever did manage to one day talk to him. 

So Taeil accepted the fact that in a sense, Youngho was still lost forever. So he became the second best thing he could think of, his biggest fan. He bought all of his albums, posters, t-shirts, mugs, any merch even remotely related to Johnny at all. The one thing Taeil wished for the most, was to attend at least one of his concerts and fanmeetings. Unfortunately, Johnny was an American star, and he barely went on tour. Which lead to Taeil hating the fact that he was a fan who lived all the way across the world. But he still loved him, and was up to date with everything that dealt with Johnny. 

ーーー

As soon as the plane landed in Chicago, the literature department was escorted to their hotel. Ten and Taeil had begged their teacher for a two-bed suite, so that they could stay together.  
Upon entering the room, Ten and Taeil plopped down on their beds and emitted sighs of relief. 

"Gosh I hate travelling", groaned Ten. 

"Tell me about it. The only good thing about the flight was being able to listen to Johnny's songs for a long time", Taeil bemused.

"Still obsessed, huh? Well, I don't blame you, dude's songs are awesome." 

Ten knew that Taeil was obsessed with Johnny, but didn't know the real reason why. He just assumed he loved his songs and had a huge crush on him. Taeil could never tell him the truth, although many times he tried but always ended up backing out for fear of being made fun of. 

"Yeah...heh. Well, I'm gonna catch some shut-eye because I'm tired as heck, and we need as much energy as we can get for tomorrow. We're gonna head out to look for resources for our final", he said. 

"Ugh, right. Me too. Good night, or good day, whatever", Ten breathed out. A few seconds later, he was sound asleep. 

Taeil chuckled, always amused by how quickly his best friend could fall asleep. Soon enough, he was also in dreamland. 

ーーー

Hours later, Taeil woke up with a huge pain in his stomach. He was starving. He saw Ten still dead to the world, laying upside down on his bed. He decided to go out into the streets, he remembered seeing a Subway place on the way to the hotel.  
He locked the room in case someone came in, put the key in his hoodie's pocket, and headed out. 

After ordering his food and drinks, he sat down in an empty booth by the window. The place was deserted, which was reasonable considering the fact that it was 12:30 a.m. 

He was just about to plug in his headphones into his phone when he heard a familiar voice ordering food. He was frozen in place, not daring to to turn back to confirm his suspicions. That voice, he'd recognize it anywhere. 

His curiosity got the best of him and he slowly turned around. Goosebumps coursed across his skin, his hair stood on end. His heart raced. He couldn't believe it. 

Standing at the counter, was none other than Seo Youngho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work will include side ships such as JaeDo and TaeTen!  
> Also some smut hehe


	3. Chapter 3

At first, Taeil refused to believe that the tall man standing a few feet away from him was Seo Youngho. For one, he was a famous star! What would he be doing in public without any type of security? Because as far as Taeil could see, he was completely alone.   
And secondly, it would be too good to be true. How could it be possible that the man he had been yearning to interact with since finding out he'd been alive a few years back just show up in front of him? Life didn't just give things to you so easily. But then again, he had been tormented by the whole situation for years. 

He sat in his booth, heart not slowing down for all he tried. He played with his fingers, dreading the moment when the clerk would call out his order and he'd have to go pick it up. He hoped Youngho would have sat down in a booth or a table before then. 

When the clerk notified him that his order was ready, he stood up to go get it. To his despair, Youngho was still at the counter, having a chummy conversation with the clerk. Taeil heard him laugh, and he froze. 

For a moment, Taeil felt the wind coursing through his hair, smelled the light summer air, heard the whoosh of tree branches as they swayed in the wind, but most of all, he heard the same laugh in the distance. The same beautiful tinkling laugh, the one he had missed so much over the years. Hearing it now, there were slight differences, such as it being deeper, but there was no mistaking that it was the same. Taeil's heart throbbed, and he felt tears prick his eyes. 

"Excuse me, sir?" A face gradually came into focus, and Taeil realized he had been standing still for the past few seconds.   
"Oh, um, sorry. My order?"   
"Here you go sir, that'll be thirteen dollars and fifty-nine cents", the clerk, name tag reading 'Jaemin', said with a smile and pushed the tray towards him.   
Taeil thanked him, and glanced sideways. His gaze met Youngho's, who raised his eyebrows at him and gave him a tight-lipped smile. 

You'd think that when someone meets somebody they'd been wanting to tall to for years, their first impluse would be to talk to them. But not Taeil, he hadn't managed to muster up enough courage for this. As soon as his eyes met his, he faltered. He needed to prepare. So he returned to his booth, and began pondering over how he could begin a conversation. 

ーーー  
As soon as he had finished his food, he scoured the area and noticed Youngho haf sat down in a booth not too far away from his. Taeil got up and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he got out, he assured himself that everything would be fine, and he headed over to him. 

"Um, hello. Can I talk to you for a bit?", he asked timidly.  
Youngho looked up from his food and stared at him.   
"Uh, sorry man but I don't do private fanmeetings so could you like, go?", came the reply.   
Taeil was taken aback, but he decided to hold his ground. Of course Youngho wouldn't recognize him immediately, literally decades had passed since they last saw each other.  
"It's me, Moon Taeil. I know it's been a really long time since our last encounter but I was hoping we could catch up with each other." Taeil felt sort of weird saying this, especially to someone famous who just happened to be his childhood love. But still, he knew if he wanted to recuperate their past closeness, he'd have to do it.

Youngho stared at him so more. Then he something seemed to click in his mind as he stated, "Ooooh, are you that dude from the gay bar who gave killer head and had a really tight ass? The one from last month?" 

What. 

It was a widely known fact that Johnny was gay, which was why 66% of his fandom consisted of men. But Taeil was astounded by the fact that he actually went to gay bars to get laid. Most of Johnny's fandom would give anything for the chance to be intimate with him. Taeil included. 

"Um, n-not exactly," said Taeil with a breathy laugh. "Moon Taeil. Your bestfriend. Well, ex-bestfriend I guess. Remember Full Moon Orphanage?" 

Youngho's expression turned from that of an utterly confused one to a stony one. "I thought I had asked you to leave me alone", he said curtly. "I have no idea who you are, and I'm not interested in knowing. I don't know if you're a fan and I don't usually treat fans like this but you're butting in too much."   
And with that, he picked up his tray with unfinished food in it, passed by the bathroom to wash his hands and left the building.

Taeil was left there standing, heart throbbing with pain, and feeling worse than he ever had in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, I'm not sure if anyone is actually reading this fic lmao but if you are, I'm sorry for the late and short update, but you know, college life hehe. 
> 
> This is the first time I'm publishing(? a story and well, I'll try to live up to my reader's expectations. 
> 
> I am now out on vacation so hopefully I'll update some more!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, it means a lot!


	4. Chapter 4

Taeil's eyes flew open as an outstretched arm smacked him the face. He groaned and threw his sleeping friend's arm right back at him. He sat up and began rubbing his eyes. There was a slight pain at the back of his head but he didn't mind it too much. He gazed across the room, thinking about nothing in particular, until the events of last night recollected in his mind. He had talked to Seo Youngho after years again! This was something huge, but he couldn't be all that happy about it. Nothing went as planned, and in the end, he had realized that Youngho had no idea who he was. And that hurt like hell. He recalled trudging back to the hotel, and as he entered his room, he let the tears fall. He sobbed and tried to let himself fall onto the bed dramatically to continue his sobbing but hit his head on the its dashboard instead. Ah, that explained the headache.  
He sighed, and made up his mind that he wouldn't let that encounter affect his day. According to their schedule, today was the day their research for their final paper would start!

ーーー

At about 10 A.M, Ten and Taeil, along with the rest of students, were ready to hit the streets of Chicago in search of "the perfect library". As Literature majors, their final paper consisted of going abroad in search of the perfect library and explaining why they considered it so. This had been explained ever since they enrolled in the Literature faculty of their university about three and a half years ago, but Taeil and Ten had pushed it to the back of their minds because Ten had convinced him that he had 3 whole years of his college life to enjoy before that time. Well, here they were as seniors, whithout the slightest idea as to how they would go about doing this. 

Ten sighed. "Ready?", he asked. 

"Well, I guess so. We'd better get started since I don't think the "perfect library's gonna come to us by itself", replied Taeil. 

"Yeah, well if we don't find it today, we've got two weeks left. Plus, we get to rock these amazing shirts an the first day, amirite?" Ten said with a smirk. 

Taeil looked down at their outfits. Both were clad in full black, black pants, black belt, black shoes, and black T-shirts that displayed the words "#Double_T Against The World" at the back and a picture of them both at the front. This was Ten's idea, and Taeil went along with it because he knew this was his unique way of showing how much he meant to him. 

Taeil smiled at his best friend. The amount of love he had for this dork was colossal.  
"Right, right, let's start looking before I decide to ditch you somewhere so you don't keep me behind", and with that, Taeil playfully kicked his butt and started walking.  
"Ow! Hey! Wait up!" Ten yelled and hurried to catch up to him.

ーーー

Three days. He had just three days left until he had to submit the first draft of his upcoming album.  
Youngho sighed, running his hand through his hair. Ever since that night, he hadn't been able to concentrate. Why the hell did he have to show up into his life again? How dare he? 

"Oi, what's wrong?", asked his producer, Jaehyun, upon entering the studio. "You look like you could kill with that look on your face", he said, smirking. 

"It's nothing. I just...haven't gotten enough sleep. That's all."

"Oh? Is that so? One of your little play things stand you up?" Jaehyun teased, referring to Youngho's habit of sleeping around with many guys. 

"Ugh, no. How about you?" Youngho sniffed. "Woah, well doesn't someone smell nice? Got a date later?" 

It was hard to miss the smile that slowly grew wider on Jaehyun's face. "Yeah, I guess you could call it that. It's just us meeting up to have dinner at either of our places and having ... y'know, fun." 

"You do know that it isn't some forbidden word right? Say it with me, S-E-X, you guys are having sex", Youngho replied 

"Ugh, I know but... with him it feels different from just sex. Youngho, I've come to realize that I like him. So much. I want something more with him." 

Youngho smiled at him. "That's great, I'm rooting for you buddy. You've got this."

"Thanks, man. How about you though? Why don't you get into a stable relationship? It's not good to be sleeping around so much, y'know." 

Youngho sighed. He had once thought of how wonderful it would be to beside one person, to love that person unconditionally and vice versa, to spend their whole lives together. But that was years ago. He had decided to brush off that thought as a foolish childhood fantasy. 

"Love ain't for me, buddy. I'd rather stay the way I am." 

Jaehyun siged. "Well, that's up to you. I'd better get going. I need to prepare some stuff before Doyoung shows up at my house. See ya." 

"Yeah, good luck". 

Youngho was left alone in his studio again, and his previous thoughts arose. He still couldn't believe Moon Taeil had had the guts to walk up to him, talk to him as if he didn't know what he had done wrong. As if he wasn't one of the main reasons his life had been a mess for so many years. As if he wasn't the main reason he feared to love again. 

"I really hope I never get to see you again.", he muttered, before picking up his stuff and walking out of the studio, en route to his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and late update again, I know and I'm sorry. I've been sick for the past week and have also lacked motivation but I think now I can keep writing. 
> 
> Sorry for all these irregular updates, starting today I'm going to start writing more chapters beforehand so that I could update more. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this! It means a lot to me.


	5. Chapter 5

It was three in the morning when Youngho finally pressed the "enter" key that would email his album's first draft to Jaehyun. Though he doubted he'd check it right now. He was probably laying in bed with that guy he seemed smitten with. Youngho sighed, got up, and went to lay down on his bed, beside the young man, whatever his name was, he'd called for a one-night stand. He was fast asleep, having finished three rounds of sex about two hours ago, to give Youngho "energy to continue his work". 

Youngho's mind began to wander.

And suddenly, his room's dark walls transformed into walls padded with cushions. A bright light flooded the room, and knob on the single metal door began to turn. He heard muffled screams. His breathing began to come out in jagged puffs of air, and he was drenched in cold sweat. 

He was back in the isolation room. And they were coming to get him.

"Hey. Hey. HEY!" Youngho jumped back to reality as the man in his bed grabbed his arm. "Are you okay? You're breathing heavily man, and you're sweating like crazy. Do you perhaps have a fever?" 

"Uh, no, no. I'm...um...fine. Yeah, heh." He let out a breathy laugh, in an attempt to calm himself. He needed to distract himself. If not, the flashbacks would come back. 

Good thing he had a man right beside him. 

"Wanna have some more fun?" Youngho asked, smirking. 

The man smiled back. He got up and placed his long slim legs on either side of Youngho's. He then grabbed Youngho's hands and placed them on his own slim waist. "Would I ever", he whispered against Youngho's ears, before joining their lips in a sloppy, wet kiss. 

ーーー

There were times when Ten just couldn't figure Taeil out. One second, Taeil could be the happiest person in the world and the next, he'd be this gloomy, depressed person. The Taeil sitting in front of him was the latter. All was well until they had passed a poster which proclaimed how the indie-pop star Johnny's upcoming album would be the best one yet. Ten had observed how Taeil's smile had fallen once he laid eyes on that poster. And Ten had observed how Taeil's mood had changed drastically when they reached the café they were at. But Ten didn't want to pry. He knew Taeil closed himself up, and although it did kind of hurt Ten, he had decided Taeil must have his reasons. 

But there were times like these, where he just couldn't hold back the need to know so he could somehow help. He loved Taeil, he'd been one of tje best things that ever happened to him and he hated seeing him this way. 

"Hyung." 

Taeil looked up to meet Ten's gaze. He rarely ever used honorifics. 

"I know you probably have something bottled up inside that you feel you have to keep to yourself, but let me tell you that you don't have to. That's why I'm here. I'll listen to you. I'll understand. And if I can, I'll help. You know I'm always here for you, right?", Ten stated in a low voice.

He was right. Taeil sighed. Why'd he think he could keep this from Ten, of all people, forever? He was his best friend for a reason. 

So he told him. Everything. From his life at the orphanage, how he lost Youngho, how he'd found him again, and his encounter with him. By the time he was done, he was sobbing. It hurt so much, so freaking much. And the worse part was that he knew that despite knowing that it was nearly impossible for him to at least be close to Youngho again, he'd still love him. But it felt good to at least have one other person be there for him, to listen to him.

Ten hugged him throughout everything. And he still kept his arms around Taeil after he had finished. Taeil looked up at him, Ten wore an unreadable expression. 

"I guess I can understand why you're his biggest fan and love his music so much."

"You don't think it's silly?"

"What? No way. Heck, I'd love for someone to love me that much, for that long. Man, under different circumstances, this is what I'd call true love. But I dislike the fact that this is hurting you. I've never been in love, or experienced it but I know love isn't supposed to hurt that much. So, what are you gonna do? Want to let him go? Or not?"

Taeil remained silent for a long time. 

"I...I don't know Tennie. I just...I want to get over him. I know this is unhealthy. But, there's something in me that believes that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance." Taeil let out a breathy sigh. "I've been loving him my whole life. Even from before I knew what 'love' was. He was my everything. He still is. Ugh...Ten, I hate this. I don't know anymore. After that night, everything I'd hoped for just came crashing down. I feel so conflicted. I don't know what to think." 

Ten wiped Taeil's tear-stained cheeks with a napkin. He remained silent, because he felt kf he talked, he would also cry. And he felt that Taeil would not like a crying person by his side right now. 

"Come on, let's go back to the hotel. I think you should rest." 

"Right, right." Taeil got up and looked around. He was grateful for the fact that Ten and him were the only people there at that time. He would not have liked being watched by other people while crying. "Um, Ten. Thank you. I was afraid you'd laugh at me or something but I really appreciate that you didn't. Even if you really do feel that way, thank you for hiding it" 

"Hey you idiot, if I felt that way I'd have told you", Ten responded playfully, ruffling Taeil's hair. "I just want the best for you." 

"I want the best for you too." 

And with that, they walked out of the café, arms wrapped around each other on their way back to the hotel. 

ーーー

Taeil's soft snores, echoing in the room, were barely noticed by Ten. He sat in bed, legs propped up with his arms around his knees, deep in thought. 

He just couldn't get the image of Taeil crying out of his mind. 

He sat there for who knows how long, staring into space, until a small vibration coming from Taeil's phone caught his attention. A notification which read: "@johnny_suh.official just added to his story" was displayed on the lockscreen. 

Ten clicked on the notification, and a selfie of Johnny in what appeared to be his well-known studio popped up.  
The words: "Working late to perfect my new album, but it's all for you guys. Please look forward to its release!" were displayed on the picture, with stickers lined all around the picture. 

Ten knew just what he had to do. 

He quickly got dressed, grabbed his wallet, and walked out of the hotel room. He closed the door quietly, leaving a sleeping and clueless Taeil inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, what? I'm actually posting again within a week of posting the previous chapter? 
> 
> What is going on? :0 
> 
> Ok ok, I'll stop now. I just wanted to say thanks again for reading this, I know I say this a lot but I really do appreciate it. 
> 
> I still haven't decided how many chapters this story will have in total, because I wanna get everything in. Also, I love slow burn I'm so sorry akdks. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I need some constructive feedback uwu.


	6. Chapter 6

Youngho was glad to have Taeyong's, his manager, company that night. He hadn't been well at all lately. The dreams returned on a nightly basis, and he couldn't sleep. So he spent his sleeping hours in his studio, working on music. He felt at peace there; it was as if nothing from his past could reach him here. 

Something cold touched his cheek and he jumped in his seat. Taeyong's giggle filled the room while he gave Youngho one of the two cappuccinos he carried in his hands.

"Just checking if you were awake. You said you were gonna cook up 'bout 5 or 6 songs just this night but it seems you're too tired. I think you should go home to sleep." 

Youngho yawned and scratched his cheek, which now had signs from the piano's keys where he hd laid his head to rest. "Nah man, I'm good. I think I just need a bit of fresh air." 

"Sure. I'll look over the tentative tour dates for this upcoming year. Call me if you need anything." After a quick nod of his head, Youngho left the room. 

The fresh air hit his face in such a peaceful way that he thought he could stay in that position forever. That was, until he sensed a figure approaching him. A small man with delicate features, walking in a laid back manner. Well, he didn't notice his features until he was a few feet away from him. 

His first thought was that he was a stalker fan who had somehow slipped through the brush surrounding the building. Tch. Had the encounter with that bastard Taeil somehow give way to fans thinking that they could approach him whenever they wanted?! 

Until when would he keep ruining his life? 

"Seo Youngho, stage name Johnny, right? Well, you really couldn't be anyone else with those looks and stature", the small man said with a smile. 

Somehow that pissed Youngho off. So he wasn't a fan? Or pretending not to be? "Look, I don't know where'd you get the idea that I just meet fans whenever and wherever they wish, but I need you off these grounds right now.”

Ten stared at Youngho, who held his gaze. “I really have no idea what the hell he sees in you,” Ten lets out after a while. Youngho is confused. 

Who?

“What do you mean, see in me?”, he asks. Ten shrugs and lets out a sigh. He lowers his gaze and stares to his side for a while, deep in thought. 

“Lemme just get to the point, man. Do you or do you not remember a guy by the name of Moon Taeil?”

At the mention of the name, an unreadable expression flashed across Youngho’s face. And Ten then had his answer. Ten was a smart guy, and something about the way Taeil had described his first encounter with Youngho had bugged him from the start. And now he knew why. 

“Seems like you do. I’m going to assume you remember everything you two went through in that orphanage. So tell me, why did you pretend you didn’t know him?”

“That’s none of your business,” Youngho spat. “I prefer keeping everything under wraps rather than remember everything he fucking put me through.” He was furious. 

Now it was Ten’s turn to be confused. Everything Taeil had put him through? As he was about to ask, he noticed a man slightly taller than him approach Youngho while gazing at Ten. He smiled, and inquired who he was. His voice was soft, and damn, was he handsome. 

“Um, I’m-”, Ten fumbled with his words. 

“An intruder, that’s what”, answered Youngho. “Taeyong, I thought we had increased security?”  
“That’s what I was told,” answered Taeyong. He turned to Ten and smiled. “You don’t seem like you want to harm Johnny, that’s not your intention, right?”

“It’s not. But don’t go trusting people only based on looks or how they seem. Anyway, I just needed to clarify something with Youngho about a friend.”

“So that bastard’s your friend, huh?”, Youngho started daggers at Ten. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Look. You didn’t even let me explain why I’m here. I needed to talk to you because I know the story behind you and Taeil, and I needed to confirm if you really don’t remember him or if you do! I know that what you guys had was something special, and I’m not usually into these things with romance but this is my best friend we’re talking about. You’re the reason why he has never wanted to give relationships a try, he loves you so much and has been hurt by you. It’s only logical that I’d want to help him in any way possible, the same way Taeil has done for me.”  
At the mention of the name, Taeyong glanced wide-eyed at Youngho, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Ten. He wanted answers, and he knew Youngho along with Taeyong had them.  
“No. Leave me alone”, came Youngho’s answer. His voice sounded small and broken. Taeyong looked at him with concern.  
“Let’s get back inside, Youngho. And you, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave”.  
ーーー  
Taeil lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. A while ago, he had noticed Ten observe something on his phone, and leave. A little while ago, Ten had returned. Taeil knew he was not okay because of the sniffles that came from underneath the covers. 

Ten had entered, gone straight to his bedside and whispered, “I’m going to help you. Either to be free or to be with him.” He had then began to cry, soft sobs which resonated deep within Taeil’s heart. 

Taeil felt like crying. He didn’t know why, but he had this overwhelming feeling of sadness and emptiness which was consuming him. 

Why did he have the feeling that this had something to do with Seo Youngho?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go ahead and scream at me for not updating like I had promised, y'all have the right :'(
> 
> College is worse than ever, so I'm unsure of when I'll be posting the other chapter.  
> I feel like this story is going nowhere lmaooo, but it is, I promise.
> 
> Wait I'm contradicting myself.
> 
> The point is, this is just the beginning. I have many things planned for this story, and since the main couple is Johnil, slow burn's gotta be present xD
> 
> I just hope I have time and motivation to update, y'know with school and life and all that.
> 
> Like always, thank you so much for reading this. It means so much.


	7. Chapter 7

The cold night breeze was unnoticed by Taeil, who walked briskly towards a gay bar located in a secluded alleyway, a bar that almost no one knew of. He had to act. There was no way he was gonna let his best friend feel as if he needed to take action. No way he was gonna be a burden to him. And he knew just where to find Youngho, thanks to Ten. Who knew his best friend and Youngho's manager would have hit it off?

*Flashback*

"So, I've made up my mind". Taeil looked up at his best friend, who was pondering over something while slurping his coffee. They were in their hotel's coffee shop, and it was almost empty. A few hours ago, Taeyong had been with them. It was still a bit of a shock to see him with Ten. Long story short, the night where Ten went to see Youngho, Taeyong had run after him, unbeknownst to Youngho, and tried to explain Youngho's actions. Ten had said refused to tell Taeil Youngho's side, though. However, he had also had other intentions. Ten had piqued his interest, and they had exchanged numbers. Now, they were in that pre-dating stage, where they spent most of their time talking to each other and texting. Taeil felt jealous; if only he was that lucky in love. 

Ten put his coffee down and looked at Taeil. 

"Okay, I'll try to ask Taeyong to share some info on him. Just...keep an open mind, okay? Maybe not everything is as it seems". 

Taeil nodded, but he felt a little uneasy. 

*End of flashback*

That uneasiness was nothing compared to what he felt now, however. He stared up at the bar's name, breathed in, and went inside. All of his senses were immediately flooded with loud music and bright lights. Men and their partners were everywhere in sight. His feet shuffled left and right, not sure which direction to take. He decided to head to the counter. 

"I'll get uhhhh... 3 shots of vodka, please." After placing his order, Taeil sat down and looked around. Suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.

There, barely fitting through the archway at the entrance, came Seo Youngho. Men lined up to him and he seemed to revel in the attention. 

Taeil felt his heart clench. He had heard from Taeyong how Youngho liked to sleep around. After learning that, Taeil's heart wavered for the first time in all the years he had loved Youngho. But he was never one to give up without even properly trying.

And when Youngho's eyes landed on him in that bar, it was as if they were the only two people on Earth. 

Youngho tried to ignore him and started walking away, but Taeil caught up to him and grabbed his arm. 

"Please, talk to me. We both need this." 

And it was true, they both needed to talk to each other, or else who knew when all of this was gonna be fixed?

\- - - - - 

Ten's phone dinged and he checked it immediately, just to sigh and throw it down when he saw it was spam mail. He'd been waiting for Taeyong's text after telling him he was bored since he was left alone by Taeil. He plopped himself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He felt restless and needed to do something. There was a sudden knock on their hotel room and Ten got up, alarmed. He grabbed a towel and stretched it out to use as a weapon as he headed towards the door. He looked through the peephole and saw Taeyong looking up at it in such a cute way it made his heart beat twice as fast. He opened the door after he had calmed down a bit, but Taeyong's smile made it start beating fast again. 

"Whaaaaa, uh, what are you doing here?" Ten let out a nervous laugh. 

"Let's go, hurry, hurry!" came the reply. And with that, Taeyong grabbed Ten's arm and dragged him out of the room. 

~.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 6 months since the last update, yes i deserve to die, i know ;(
> 
> nobody will even read this lmao


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take good care of yourselves during this whole crisis :(((   
> And follow all health protocols. ;(

The sounds of the bar slowly started to diminish as Youngho and Taeil walked into one of the private rooms at the back of the bar. Taeil's ears turned red as he realized men came in here to get serviced and laid. The uneasy feeling returned when Taeil let his mind wander. How many men had Youngho been in here with? He shook his head, as if doing so would take away such thoughts. 

Youngho sat down on the small love seat situated in front of a pole that was at the center of the room. He signaled Taeil to sit beside him but refused to look directly at him. Silence engulfed the room until Youngho decided to break it. "What is it that you want to talk to me about? I'm assuming it's something very important. Frankly, I don't wish to speak with you but even your friend got involved in it and well, I thought hearing you out was the least I could do". 

Taeil's eyes widened at Youngho's unwillingness to talk to him. Was there a reason? Perhaps...did he remember him? A glimmer of hope began to grow in his heart. He mustered up his courage, and began.

"I know you must think that what I'm about to tell you is nothing but a crazy story made up by an obsessed fan in an effort to get to have something with their favorite artist but trust me, this is real. I don't know if you remember me, but something within me tells me you do. When I mentioned our orphanage the first time we met your facial expression changed so rapidly I had thought you had seen a ghost, and what you said just now about not wanting to talk to me, that has me thinking.

But if you really don't remember me at all, my name is Moon Taeil. I spent most of my childhood in an orphanage, Full Moon Orphanage. That is where you and I first met. We were as close as two people could get. We spent all our time together, ate meals together and even slept together. I remember there was this one time we went exploring behind the orphanage and came across a nearby stream. I remember you found two rocks that seemed to have been glued together. You gave it to me, and said that they represented both of us, and that we would never be separated". 

Tears had begun falling down Taeil's cheeks as he recalled the times they had spent together, and the pain he felt within his heart was indescribable. He let out a breathy sigh.

"I still have it, you know. It's stored in a box in my dorm room back in Korea. I was nothing without out you, Youngho. Whenever we were apart, I was tortured. So you could imagine how I felt when I was told that you were gone, that I would never see you again. I cried for days, and I wondered why. I had thought that it was because you were an irreplaceable friend, and it wasn't until I was older that I was able to understand why it had hurt so much. I had loved you, Youngho. More than just a friend. More than a brother. And I still lo-"

"Stop" came the quiet reply. Taeil looked at Youngho and was surprised to see him crying silently. He wiped his tears and looked at Taeil, his face barely containing his rage. "You loved me? I'm supposed to just believe that!? Is that why you pushed me into the road that day in order for me to get hurt?! Huh!?"

"What are you talking abou-"

"Don't come to me with your bullshit, Taeil. If it weren't for you, I could have been adopted by better 'parents'. I could have been spared all the suffering I went through. I could have been spared all the beatings, the isolation room, the bullying, everything! I could have been spared having to suffer at the hands of people whose only interest was their reputation! I could have been spared being yelled at for never meeting their expectations. I could have been spared feeling like a worthless human being every time I breathed!" With that, he got up and started for the door.

"I don't know if that was your way of trying to apologize to me or what, but it's not gonna be easy. I've hated you so much, Taeil. Every time something went wrong in my life, I cursed you out. I was finally able to escape, I was able to get my career going, and I was finally beginning to get some peace of mind. Then you show up, just like that and try to get back into my life. Well, let me break it to you. That's not gonna work buddy, there's no way in hell I'm letting you into my life again. Love? Give me a break." 

And with a scoff, Youngho walked out of the room, leaving a confused and hurt Taeil inside. 

~.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still being here and reading this fic. No, really, thank you so much. 
> 
> i made this one short because i wanted to focus solely on their conversation, i felt like this was important. 
> 
> also, i was hurting so much when i was writing this oof why do i have to love angst?


End file.
